Confusion and Pride in the Wake of 9/11

I was 8 years old when it happened. I just started the third grade at Cabello Elementary School in Union City, and I had a morning routine that I followed religiously for a majority of my elementary school career. I would wake up at 7 a.m., get ready and watch Spongebob Squarepants from 8:30 to 8:45 a.m. That morning, I couldn’t.

My mother called home from work telling me to quickly turn to the morning news. Reluctantly, I did. She asked me what they were saying and I tried to brush her off as quickly as I could because this was cutting into key Spongebob time. I then went to school thinking it was a completely normal day, but I could quickly see dismay on the faces of many faculty members.

My youth would not let me understand the magnitude of what was going on, but soon it became clear.

That evening, I watched CNN with my father and he explained to me that the country was attacked and that many innocent people died. I remember being really confused. I couldn’t understand why someone would hurt people who did nothing to them.

Soon, a man named Osama Bin Laden became a household name. He claimed that this attack was in the name of Islam. This bothered me a lot.

I am Muslim, and I could never imagine hurting people who did nothing to me. I played along while many of my peers demonized Muslims because it was easier to be a bystander than to be a victim of ridicule.

I recall an online video game that was similar to a dunk tank with a photo of Bin Laden gleaming under the headline: “Dunk the Terrorist.” I couldn’t figure out whether to laugh or not. I honestly didn’t know what to think during the time following the attacks. Confusion sums up my mentality at the time. It seemed like a lot of people were trying to fight hate with hate, and my 8-year-old mind could just not understand why. 

Ten years later, I have somewhat of a grasp of what happened that fateful morning. Granted, now it seems like the attacks are used by politicians to incite fear mongering, I see the good that it had.

It brought this country together in a way that I’ve never thought it could. People were proud to be American. People were willing to stand together to defend their homeland. I saw more American flags in the time following the attacks than I have seen in my entire life. The bravery and valor of the first responders gave this country hope.

It’s sad that it took a disgusting act to bring us together, but, through the rain and smoke, I can proudly say that I’m an African-American-Muslim.